Life lately

I'm ill as fuck today. Ow ow ow ow ow ow.

So yeah.

Life is super complicated right now. Like really. incredibly. Complicated.

But I kinda like it.

Also, I've just seen a face I can't forget the time or place where we just met she's just the girl for me and I want all the world to see we've met. oooooooooo.

So it's over, and it's ok

Sq2 and I broke up. For many many different reasons. But we're ok. We try to hang out and be alright and everything I think is going to ok with us. We had a great run, but we're done. And I don't regret the time we spent together.

Now it's just up to me to put the rest of the pieces of my life together.

I have a secret

It makes my insides warm like sweet red wine and makes my skin crawl with delicious goosebumps but my friends, I have a secret and I can take it with me to my grave.
But it is a beautiful thing to have this secret and I will keep it for as long as I can. I will hold it close to my heart like a silly child who holds a stuffed animal that much tighter just to make sure it will never go away.

And no, I'm not preggers. Or engaged. Lawl.

But my loves, my life- I have a delicious wonderful secret that I can barely keep. And it kills me to do so, but is so much better because I do.

Less than a month

My flight leaves Midway, Chicago at 10am on May 21st, 2010.

This time, college program is going to be done right. It's gonna get owned.

And then I'll get a part time/seasonal job at Disney, and then everything will be awesome forever as I set off for Flagler in the fall.

UCF turned me down. Something to do with the gaps in my transcript. They're strange. I don't approve.

I'm officially turning down Stetson- it's way too expensive for me. My parents wont pay for my schooling, and I don't think I can get a loan to cover it. So Flagler it is. Wheeeee.

And Sq2's probably moving out there with me when I leave. St. Augustine, here we come.

It's all very exciting. He's been talking about opening up a bed and breakfast there. I'm excited about it. School during the day, helping out at home at night. It'll be exhausting, but it'll be great.

I'm just excited for my life to restart. It'll be an exciting time for me.


Yesterday was April 18th.

Wow. How time flies.

And how little it bothered me.

Maybe I'm finally growing up.

In any case!

College Program starts on May 24th. Me and my mom are going to stay on Disney property from the 21st to the 24th when I check in, though we fly in late Friday night, so I wont be at the EJ's party, which for some reason, is just fine with me. I'll be basking in the glory that is Orlando (FINALLY) too much to notice not being there.
That, and if my friends can't be there, I don't really want to go.

So what needs to get done between then and now?

-Fix my laptop so it will be functional / load any music that I want on there.
-Sign up for summer online courses. Probably macroeconomics or something like that.
-Start figuring out what I'm taking and what I'm leaving behind
-Talk to Flagler people in St. Augustine and figure out what the hell is going on there. Also talk to UCF. Need to know what's up with that.

I think that's pretty much it.


My ex, who always has to one up me, I suppose, is engaged to the girl he had a baby with.

Good for you.

That's a little odd to me, but eh. I suppose it'll just be different now. I'm hoping it'll be different now.

Because I don't want to be a lingering jealous bitch. That would suck.

Oh well. Life goes on.

I'm so scared

I said yes, pending more discussion and some changes and some getting used to this time. And also pending what my living situation is next year for school.

It's both something that we want- but we also very much want to be logical. If it's not the right time or the right fit for us, we won't do it. But it is something we've discussed that at some point in the future, when I'm back in Orlando, it's something we'll be looking into more closely. His lease at the house is up in May, and I guess EJ's doesn't want to stay there because so many of them are going their separate ways.

So Derek and Brian talked about moving in someplace together. Well, that's good. That means when I come back, I can start spending time there. And if things go well with me staying with the two of them, maybe we'll start looking for a place just the two of us.

But it all still depends on school. If I don't get into UCF, then I'm not staying in Orlando. I mean, Deland is close, but not that close. And my other big Florida choice school is St. Augustine (Which I hear Dorothy is in now, so that'd be neat). If no schools accept me, I'll come down on College Program, and then I'd be in Disney Housing automatically, so I wouldn't need an apartment.

So basically, me and Brian will live together if I go to UCF, and IF we think it's a smart idea.

This sounds like a well thought out, educated idea, right?


I need advice

Brian asked me when I come back to Florida if I'll live with him.

I need real advice- not "do what your heart tells you". I need actual advice.

Should I do this?

So the update

University of Mississippi application: Finished

Stetson College application: Finished

Flagler College application: Finished

University of Central Florida application: Finished

Elmhurst College application: Finished

University of North Florida application: Unfinished

University of Western Florida application: In process

University of Iowa application: Unfinished

Disney College Program application: Finished

I will be in Florida. Or at least be closer. I will. I will I will I will. I have to be.

I'm too stubborn of an ass to not let this happen.